Christmas Day Awards 2016
Just as we did for Turkey Day in November, here’s a Christmas Day edition of some of our favorite fantasy football players and how they fit under your tree or in your stocking, and if they made the naughty/nice list in time for the championship game.
Feel free to comment, share on Twitter and stir up the holiday banter.
The arch enemy of Christmas, the fun sucker of them all, and the one without a heart at all.
Unanimous Winner: Former Rams coach Jeff Fisher
Lump of Coal
That dirty mass of darkness that makes this year forgettable for us on the naughty list.
Winner: Allen Robinson
Honorable Mentions: Blake Bortles, DeAndre Hopkins, Michael Floyd
The Tiny Tim Award
That sweet, sweet soul whose crippling injury just makes you cry inside.
Winner: Keenan Allen
Honorable Mentions: Rob Gronkowski, Jamaal Charles, Arian Foster
Grandma’s Knitted Sweater
You kinda have to just smile and hold on to it but try not to use it. Love you Grandma, but this isn’t going to help me get a date to the dance.
Winner: Greg Olsen
Honorable Mentions: Jeremy Hill, Spencer Ware, Randall Cobb
Started off as a great idea but is starting to taste bad now.
Winner: Marvin Jones Jr.
Honorable Mentions: Donte Moncrief, Christine Michael
Clutch Stocking Stuffer
Not the top dollar stuff, but gifts that are dependable and useful especially if they are gift cards. A bit underrated if you ask me.
Winner: Larry Fitzgerald
Honorable Mentions: LeGarrette Blount, Jordy Nelson
Christmas Miracle/Best Present Ever
The one you asked for, hoped for, and basically begged for… and it happened!
Winner: David Johnson
Honorable Mentions: Matt Ryan, Mike Evans, Travis Kelce
Red Ryder BB Gun
That classic childhood gift from that classic movie but also kinda useless at this point when you could just buy a real gun.
Winner: Andy Dalton (unanimous)
You could kiss this special someone they’re so dang awesome.
Winner: Le’Veon Bell
Honorable Mentions: LeSean McCoy, Antonio Brown, Drew Brees
Department Store Fake Santa
The guy smells just like beef and cheese. As a kid you thought he was the real deal, turned out to be a sad sack with no real pull in getting gifts.
Winner: Brandon Marshall
Honorable Mentions: Brock Osweiler, Coby Fleener
Elf on the Shelf
Mischievous little guy that just needs to be dusted off from the attic and so they can unleash the fun.
Winner: Danny Woodhead is the permanent winner until his retirement
Honorable Mentions: Jacquizz Rodgers, Rex Burkhead, Jerick McKinnon
The “Joseph and Mary” Award
Finding a small bundle of riches and gold in the midst of a stinky, crowded manager
Winner: Taylor Gabriel (Get it… Gabriel the angel… I digress)
Honorable Mentions: Tyreek Hill, JJ Nelson
Star on Top of the Christmas Tree
The crowning achievement of your Christmas tree and what people look at when they come into your home.
Winner: Ezekiel Elliott
Honorable Mentions: Tom Brady, Julio Jones, DeMarco Murray
On the Nice List
The kinda kid we all think we really are; they are welcomed with open arms and bundles of gifts.
Winners: Dak Prescott, Jordan Howard, Melvin Gordon
On the Naughty List
The no-good, pouty, bad kids that are obviously detrimental and terrible influences to those around them.
Losers: Colin Kaepernick, Odell Beckham, Josh Norman, Jay Cutler, Alshon Jeffrey
Fat Inflatable Outdoor Christmas Decorations
Lots of pizzazz, but the problem is they’re good for like a month and then they have to be deflated.
Winner: Amari Cooper
Honorable Mentions: Devonte Booker, Stefon Diggs, Jack Doyle