Turkey Day Awards 2016

It’s that time of year that we gather around the table and eat until we feel numb. I have served up for you a “smorgasborg” (my last name is Borgognoni…) of fantasy football goodness that should give you the low down on what to feast on and what dishes you need to just politely smile at and move on.

Now I realize these awards have a bit of a Southern flair as I reside in Atlanta, Georgia, but nevertheless they showcase the sweet and savory nature of a classic Thanksgiving feast. A special shoutout to the SnapTacklePop fantasy football league members with some of their menu suggestions.

Classic Turkey w/ Gravy

The show stopper and MVP of Thanksgiving day.

• Winner: David Johnson
• Honorable Mentions: Le’Veon Bell, Antonio Brown, Julio Jones, Ezekiel Elliott

An Overdone Turducken

A fat, overdone duck cooked in a chicken stuffed in a turkey. You paid a ton of money for this fat blend of bird, but you just can’t eat it. Instead, you just have to look at it and wonder what could have been.

• Winner: Brandon Marshall
• Honorable Mentions: DeAndre Hopkins, Todd Gurley

Ham

A rival to the classic turkey. Ham is an alternative for those who want to go rogue and be different.

• Winner: DeMarco Murray
• Honorable Mentions: LeSean McCoy,  Odell Beckham Jr., Dez Bryant

My Aunt’s Dressing/Stuffing

Classic. Dependable and gets the job done every time.

• Winner: Larry Fitzgerald
• Honorable Mentions: Russell Wilson, Jarvis Landry

The Other Aunt’s Dressing/Stuffing

You never really know what it’s going to be like. It could blow your socks off and have everyone at the table ranting and raving. Or it could make your stomach so upset you will feel the effects for days.

• Winner: Eli Manning
• Honorable Mentions: Allen Robinson, Jeremy Hill

Buttery Mashed Potatoes

A lumpy, buttery glob of mashed potatoes is what everyone needs to add body to their plate. It’s relatively cheap, and we all know butter makes everything better.

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• Winner: LeGarrette Blount
• Honorable Mentions: Delanie Walker, Davante Adams

The Burned Dinner Rolls

Gosh, man you put in so much time and effort in preparing the meal but unexpectedly the rolls get burned up. Disappointment and sometimes you just have to scrape the carbon shavings off and eat it in sadness.

• Winner: Jamaal Charles
• Honorable Mentions: Keenan Allen, Adrian Peterson, Eric Decker

Sweet Potato Casserole

Heavy, hearty, and delicious for those first few bites. But you can only have so much before it makes you sick.

• Winner: Christine Michael
• Honorable Mentions: Terrance West, Marvin Jones, Isaiah Crowell

Cranberry Sauce

It tastes bitter. It’s sometimes unpredictable. But when you get it just right, it makes everything about Thanksgiving feel right.

• Winner: Mike Evans
• Honorable Mentions: Rob Gronkowski, Jimmy Graham, Jameis Winston

Grandma’s Sweet Tea

Always consistent, but never to be underestimated or tinkered with. A must-have for the meal of the year.

• Winner: Melvin Gordon
• Honorable Mentions: T.Y. Hilton, Greg Olsen, Matt Ryan

Mincemeat Pie

For some reason, my father-in-law adores this pie when most of us aren’t quite sure what’s in it. It’s mysterious, tantalizing and yet, it’s the kind of thing you’d find in a retirement home.

• Winner: Frank Gore
• Honorable Mentions: Antonio Gates, DeAngelo Williams, Matt Forte

Cooked Covered Asparagus

That random dish somebody brought in the shiny new container… Open it up and you realize this could be the best/worst thing ever. A boom-or-bust type of meal that is usually a bust.

• Winner: Brock Osweiler
• Honorable Mentions: Coby Fleener, Sammie Coates