Fantasy Football: Turkey Day Awards 2017

It’s that time of year that we gather around the table and eat until we feel numb. I have served up for you a “smorgasborg” (my last name is Borgognoni…) of fantasy football goodness that should give you the low down on what to feast on and what dishes you need to just politely smile at and move on.

Note to all Thanksgiving participants: I realize these awards have a bit of a Southern flair as I reside near Atlanta, Georgia, but nevertheless they showcase the sweet and savory nature of a classic Thanksgiving feast. A special shoutout to the Snap Tackle Pop fantasy football league members with some of their menu suggestions.

Listen to Andy, Jason, and Mike discuss their Thanksgiving Day awards on today’s Megaladon episode.

Classic Turkey w/ Gravy

The show stopper and MVP of Thanksgiving day.

• Winner: Todd Gurley
• Honorable Mentions: Le’Veon Bell, Antonio Brown

Ham

A rival to the classic turkey. Ham is an alternative for those who want to go rogue and be different.

• Winner: Travis Kelce
• Honorable Mentions: DeAndre Hopkins, Christian McCaffrey

An Overdone Turducken

A fat, overdone duck cooked in a chicken stuffed in a turkey. You paid a ton of money for this fat blend of bird, but you just can’t eat it. Instead, you just have to look at it and wonder what could have been.

• Winner: Terrelle Pryor Sr.
• Honorable Mentions: Isaiah Crowell, Paul Perkins

Daniel Kucin Jr./Icon Sportswire via Getty Images

My Aunt’s Dressing/Stuffing

Classic. Dependable and gets the job done every time.

• Winner: Golden Tate
• Honorable Mentions: Adam Thielen, Jarvis Landry, Larry Fitzgerald

The Other Aunt’s Dressing/Stuffing

You never really know what it’s going to be like. It could blow your socks off and have everyone at the table ranting and raving. Or it could make your stomach so upset you will feel the effects for days.

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• Winner: Amari Cooper
• Honorable Mentions: T.Y. Hilton, Stefon Diggs, Tyreek Hill

Buttery Mashed Potatoes

A lumpy, buttery glob of mashed potatoes is what everyone needs to add body to their plate. It’s as dependable as they get and we all know butter makes everything better.

• Winner: Mark Ingram
• Honorable Mentions: Zach Ertz, Michael Thomas

Wesley Hitt/Getty Images

The Burned Dinner Rolls

Gosh, man you put in so much time and effort in preparing the meal but unexpectedly the rolls were burned. Disappointment and sometimes you just have to scrape the carbon shavings off and eat it in sadness.

• Winner: David Johnson
• Honorable Mentions: Aaron Rodgers, Odell Beckham Jr.

Cranberry Sauce

This is by far the sexiest of Turkey Day dishes. When you get it just right, it makes everything about Thanksgiving feel right considering how cheap and simple it is.

• Winner: Alvin Kamara
• Honorable Mentions: Robby Anderson, Sterling Shepard

Sweet Potato Casserole

Heavy, hearty, and delicious for those first few bites. But you can only have so much before it makes you sick.

• Winner: Mike Gillislee
• Honorable Mentions: Jordy Nelson, Jamison Crowder

Matthew J Lee/Boston Globe

Grandma’s Sweet Tea

Always consistent, but never to be underestimated or tinkered with. A must-have for the meal of the year.

• Winner: Carson Wentz
• Honorable Mentions: Russell Wilson, Kareem Hunt

Mincemeat Pie

For some reason, my father-in-law adores this pie when most of us aren’t quite sure what’s in it. It’s mysterious, tantalizing and yet, it’s the kind of thing you’d find in a retirement home.

• Winner: Josh McCown
• Honorable Mentions: Frank Gore, Matt Forte, Eric Decker

Cooked Covered Asparagus

That random dish somebody brought in the shiny new container… Open it up and you realize this could be the best/worst thing ever. A boom-or-bust type of meal that is usually a bust.

• Winner: Marshawn Lynch
• Honorable Mentions: Ameer Abdullah, Jordan Reed