Are You a Fantasy Football #Truther?

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At this very moment, I can guarantee you that 3 things are true about fantasy football Twitter:

  1. Someone is telling someone else that their opinion is total crap.
  2. Mike Wright has no blue checkmark next to his name.
  3. There are numerous posts telling you that some 3rd string guy should be much higher on your draft board.

#3, in a nutshell, is a truther. They know everything there is to know about a relatively lesser known player and they also know, that if just given the chance, he would be the best. A truther will never hesitate to give you their theory on anything else fantasy football. Recently, I witnessed a small Twitter exchange where Mike (at least I think it was him) called himself a “Truther Truther”. Considering how deep this whole thing might go, I decided to create a quiz for you to see if you identify with the #Truther movement.

Answer quickly and with your gut, there is no place for thinking in this movement. Keep track of your running point total for the end.

Question 1- Let’s start with the RBs, who will have the best bounce back year in 2017?

  • 1 Point- Todd Gurley was cursed by Jeff Fisher and is going to be epic in 2017.
  • 2 Points- Danny Woodhead is going to make San Diego regret the day they let him walk.
  • 3 Points- The Cardinals wanted to draft Ameer Abdullah ahead of David Johnson. He’s going to blow up.
  • 4 Points- I watched T-Rich at Alabama, he is not that bad.

Question 2- Who will be the top RB for the Seattle Seahawks?

  • 1 Point- Eddie Lacy, he’s slimming down.
  • 2 Points- Thomas Rawls, did you see what he did 2 years ago?
  • 3 Points- Beast Mode is coming back, we gotta keep him.
  • 4 Points- GOAT-SISE!

Question 3- So, who’s going to be the featured RB in Green Bay?

  • 1 Point- Wait, what happened to Cheeseburger Eddie?
  • 2 Points- Ty Montgomery, if they will let him be a RB in fantasy.
  • 3 Points- I heard AP was wanting to stay in the NFC North.
  • 4 Points- The Woke One, I’m wide awake.

Question 4- Speaking of AP, who will be the best fantasy back in Minnesota?

  • 1 Point- Matt Asiata is a touchdown machine.
  • 2 Points- Latavius Murray just needed a change of scenery.
  • 3 Points- AP cannot play for Green Bay…I’m sure he’ll give us a discount.
  • 4 Points- Did you hear about what Jerick McKinnon did at the combine a few years ago?

Question 5- Enough with running backs, who will be the WR1 for the Minnesota Vikings?

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Question 6- And which WR is going to prove that 2016 was just a fluke and return to glory?

  • 1 Point- Dez Bryant. He was hurt, QB was a rookie, and he scores TDs.
  • 2 Points- Definitely DeAndre Hopkins, they got rid of the real problem- Osweiler. So…who’s the QB now?
  • 3 Points- Keenan Allen is a star waiting to shine, he was on pace for like 200 catches that one year.
  • 4 Points- Three letters: D G B. Just wait.

Question 7- We can’t all waste early picks on Gronk and Rule 86, which of these tight ends is better anyway?

  • 1 Point- Martellus Bennett. He outplayed Gronk last year and was amazing that last time he was in the NFC North.
  • 2 Points- Julius Thomas is just the weapon Ryan Tannehill needed, for real this time.
  • 3 Points- Eric Ebron was being compared to Jimmy Graham once, that has to count for something.
  • 4 Points- Jared Cook, someone told me that he was really good and the Raiders need a TE.

Question 8- Okay, so which QB is going to return to glory next year?

  • 1 Point- Colin Kaepernick just needs a chance, keep your politics out of my fantasy football.
  • 2 Points- Tony Romo, his numbers are eerily similar to Tom Brady for the first 125 career starts.
  • 3 Points- Brian Hoyer was never given a fair shake in Chicago, or Houston, or Arizona, or Cleveland.
  • 4 Points- Look, I heard Johnny Manziel has been working out really hard.

Question 9- This whole thing was way too positive, but you know that this guy is not nearly as good as others believe?

  • 1 Point- Dak Prescott is not that great, there wasn’t enough film on him.
  • 2 Points- Matt Ryan was average before Kyle Shanahan, he’ll be back to that now that he is gone.
  • 3 Points- Cam Newton would be absolute trash if not for his rushing ability.
  • 4 Points- Tom Brady is a product of his system. Anyone could have done what he has in New England (see Matt Cassel).

Question 10- Now we all know: all that matters is the Head Coach, who will have the biggest fantasy impact?

  • 1 Point- Dear God, anyone but Jeff Fisher
  • 2 Points – Kyle Shanahan is the only reason you know who Matt Ryan is.
  • 3 Points – Adam Gase just needed one year to diagnose how to fix Ryan Tannehill.
  • 4 Points – If Chip Kelly could just get one more chance, he could prove his genius.

Alright, you’ve now seen how far this rabbit hole goes. Let’s check the score:

10-15 Points– You are Andy Holloway. Your opinions are typically analytical and unbiased. You can fall for a player now and then but overall your judgment is not that clouded.

16-25 Points– You are Jason Moore. You are the thinking man’s #Truther. You let the stats start the story but only you know how great the player will really be. If only you could put it into actual English words.

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26-34 Points– Hello, Mike Wright. Unhinged and unverified, once a guy is “Your Guy”, he is your guy for life. If anybody else truly knew more about fantasy football than you then why don’t they have a marvelous beard?

35-40 Points–  Calm down, 1990s Mel Gibson from the movie Conspiracy Theory. You’ve recently stopped talking about fantasy football in your kitchen because you heard microwaves might be bugged. You won’t even keep your draft board on a computer because of the Russians, obviously.  A real #TruthersTruther, you listen to the Ballers for a laugh…and you kind of like that Fantasy Hitman guy.

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